I’m a Beauty Pageant Winner With Chronic Hives. This Is What It’s Like

I keep getting my hopes up that the hives will go away. This flare has dragged on for 13 months. Every time I have a clear-skin, phase I get really excited, but recently, my whole back was covered. I just know that it’s not going to be the end of this. I feel anxious, but I know that stress and anxiety can make things worse.

I’m Now in a Better Place Mentally

For a while I stopped posting content online because I was scared that exposing my skin during a flare would make the experience feel even more real. I knew how hives made me feel when I was younger, so I knew what was coming once they came back. When I did share videos, I wore a jacket to cover my skin as much as possible. I did not want to get out of bed because I felt so defeated. With my whole job being online, I couldn’t bear to face it. I just wanted to hibernate so no one would see me. It’s also an exhausting condition. I was averaging about three hours of sleep per night because the itching would keep me awake—I was constantly tired.

We recently had a really hot summer, which made my skin itchier than usual. I started to wonder what I was going to do. I’m the current Miss London, and my skin was covered in hives. But I finally realized that I couldn’t hide anymore. I launched a campaign called Beauty Beyond Skin to show what real skin looks like. I started sharing my own photos there.

Recently, during a flare, I went out in a tank top, which was a big deal for me. I’ve realized that if people are going to judge me because of my skin, that is a them problem.

I’ve learned it’s really important to stay busy when I have a flare. If I’m doing things, I don’t notice my skin as much. But if I’m sitting and watching TV, my mind wanders back to my skin.

I’m still learning to live with chronic spontaneous urticaria, but I don’t want it to hold me or anyone else back. I spent a year saying no to so many things because of my skin, and I don’t want to do that anymore.

When my hives resurfaced as an adult, I looked on TikTok to learn more and only found three videos from people who had experienced this. Now I’m hoping to be that person for others. I want to show people that you can get through living with chronic hives.

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